jerhogg

I entered this on my wife's blog, but since I never write on this, I figured I'd cut-and-paste my big bike crash details here.

First of all, I did not intend to run over the dog, but in hindsight there would have been no way to avoid him other than getting off my bike and walking by or going off-road.

Here's the crash recap. I was riding home from work on the road bike, formerly owned by Jim and lovingly maintained by me. I was on the Interurban Trail, a paved route popular with both bicyclists and walkers in Snohomish County. It was a long straight-away, and this teenaged boy was sitting on the right side of the trail, with the dog leashed with one of those retractable/extendable models.

I don't think he had a tight rein on the dog, because as I was approaching, the dog starting yapping at me in the middle of the trail. I swerved as far right as I could, and as I was passing, the little dog ran either right in front of me or got in between my two wheels.

At any rate, I did pretty much the same thing as the Tour De France rider did in the link above. Thanks for finding that link Eileen, because I was thinking about this exact same film clip on my bloody ride home. My front wheel did not taco though. I did get bruised and scraped up on all four limbs, and my chin took the brunt of the asphalt face plant. No black eye today though.

The dog seemed okay afterward, too. A bit scared, obviously, and a limp, but no cuts or abrasions. I repeatedly asked the teenager why he didn't pull the dog back (he's the one with the freakin' leash), but I don't think he understood English very well.

At any rate, it was a pretty spectacular fall and I feel a bit lucky I didn't lose any teeth. And I didn't rip my clothes either like Jim, but then again, I was probably going half as fast.

In hindsight, I only wish it was a bigger dog. But a chihuahua does make for a much funnier story. Those little things make good speed bumps.

This list is inspired by our series of next-door neighbors, all of whom have represented Everett well in its white-trash heritage. Our first neighbor was an early-20s female who had lived in the house her entire life, and from neighborhood legend, got into much trouble there as well.

About six months ago, she moved out and her brother purchased the home as a rental. The first and current tenants were his co-workers, a family of four, but the family just recently separated and the mother moved herself and the kids out. Unfortunately, the guy stayed (male, early-30s, PBR firmly in hand) and has moved in more white trash males to help pay the rent.

Unfortunately, we share a driveway, so we have to live even closer to them than we like. But the close proximity gives us a better perspective of the white trash subculture. Here's our informal and growing list of observations over the past year that really epitomize white-trash:

1) You acquire a brood of cats from the previous homeowner, and let them multiply without interference. When we bought our house 15 months, there were two cats over there. Now, there are five, three of which are still unspayed, including the mother cat, whom has given birth to two litters so far. We don't know the condition of the second litter of six kittens. I'm not optimistic regarding their health.

2) People live in your backyard, in a camper that's held up by scrap wood.

3) You have multiple trucks parked in your backyard, none of which have been driven in weeks.

4) You have a boat in your backyard that hasn't been used as a floatation device in years. (FULL DISCLOSURE: we qualify as white trash too, doubly so because we have a canoe AND a kayak in our backyard that we haven't taken out on the water yet. Touche'.)

5) When one of your trucks gets a flat tire, you simply acquire a new (used) car, but keep the truck with the flat in the back.

6) You don't bother to close the door to your shed. This is altruistic, because it gives the stray cats shelter.

7) You have a suspended driver's license, but continue to drive.

8) When the mother of your child leaves you because you won't quell your hard-drinking, hard-smoking ways, you move in more people who will compound your hard-drinking, hard-smoking ways.

9) The lone tree in your front lawn doubles as a dog anchor.

10) Your dog is a pit-bull/rottweiler mix.

11) Your shed has a blue tarp for a roof. (FULL DISCLOSURE PART 2: Our shed is the one with the tarp on it. Their's has moss. We're just doing our part to live up to our Everett stereotype.)

12) Your truck doubles as a waste container.

13) Your other truck doubles as an overflow waste container.

14) You consider an electric neon martini glass as art, and proudly display it in your dining room window for your neighbors to enjoy.

15) You live in the basement of your own house.

16) Your beer of choice is Pabst Blue Ribbon (FULL DISCLOSURE PART 3: I enjoy PBR too, especially in the cans. It's cheap, tastes good, and Jessi won't touch it, so I know it won't disappear from the fridge.)

17) You have a bumpersticker on one of your trucks that says 'HOMEWRECKER', and you live up to it.

18) When you yell at your kids, you don't bother to refrain from using profanity, but instead amplify it. Nor do you bother keeping your voice down or the windows down. This way, your neighbors can learn from your child-disciplining methods.

19) Your back porch steps are ice coolers. (These have since been upgraded to a small wood deck and stairs, not to current building code)

20) You have more than half a dozen garage cans, none of which have garbage in them. In fact, I don't think they subscribe to garbage pickup service either, as I've never seen said garbage cans out front on Thursday mornings.


Ahh, that was therapeutic and a total waste of a half hour at work. I hope I didn't offend anyone who discovers that they, too, are white trashy, or my consistent use of the word 'white trash'. These are just real-world observations from an objective observer, and really, 'economically and socially challenged Caucasian' isn't as easy to say.

Feel free to add your own personal observations to the list, and I'll be sure to add more items as they arise, as they will.

I found this link that I thought you two ladies would enjoy, especially Suzanne, because you can empathize.

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/national/1120AP_Dog_Nurses_Kitten.html?source=mypi

I love my wife. She's the greatest. She takes care of me when I'm sick.
I love my honey!

hi

Words can't describe how cool this kid is. Hope this YouTube embed works.

I've seen a lot of football in my life, but I believe yesterday's Fiesta Bowl between Boise State and Oklahoma was the best game I've ever seen. Today, I'm proud to be married to a former BSU attendee. I even wore my orange fleece sweatshirt to work today. Honey, let's move to Boise!

I found this political test on Honey's LJ. Here's my results (hope this works):

You are a Social Liberal (80% permissive) and an... Economic Moderate (50% permissive) You are best described as a: Democrat Link: The Politics Test on OkCupid Free Online Dating

Hello. This is my first, and quite possibly last, attempt to share my musings with the world. I'm also hoping that sharing my random musings with the world will placate my wonderful girlfriends, who is an avid LJer and encourages me to read her postings (which I do enjoy, trust me). I figure I'd make some postings of my own while I'm on the site.

So, right now I'm in my office postponing work, a VB.Net Database book staring at me. No really, the cover of the book has the author's profile on the top half of it, and his eyes are staring right back at you. It's almost like he's trying to encourage you to do good and get back to reading. Or maybe it's just a method the publisher used to make you at least >open< the book, so you don't have this creepy bald guy with elephant ears staring at you. Either way, it seems to work, I'm up to Chapter 6 now.

By the way, if you're still reading this, don't expect too much out of this particular user's posting. I don't expect to post very often, nor do I have many witty observations. My punctuation will probably not be up to snuff, either, as I'm not much of a proofreader. Really, I'm not too sure what the point of LiveJournal is, other than to take a peek at the insight of complete strangers. I've never kept a diary or personal journal, nor have I had much of a hankering to.

You can say I'm a former writer, with a Journalism degree and a couple years of newspaper reporting under my belt, but I've never >enjoyed< writing, as in, sit down and write a story, essay, novel, whathaveyou, just for fun. I think my saving graces in my journalism career were my exceptional typing speed and ability to gather and condense facts into a 12-inch space using the pyramid structure. And put a snappy lede on it to boot. But those days are long gone - I'm a system administrator / computer guy now.

Are you still reading this? Amazing. Don't I figure the sheer number of users and much more interesting posts on LJ will limit the number of views to my profile to the single digits. Which is fine with me, I prefer anonymity over popularity. I also prefer ballpoint pens over felt-tip pens, but that's another story.

What else.. I have a dog named Buster, who just got a bath yesterday. I have a cat named Tiger, who I threaten to bathe but she won't listen. I'm a proud condominium owner in beautiful Bothell, Washington, a cozy suburb northeast of Seattle. When you drive into Bothell, the main drag has a sign next to it saying 'Welcome to Bothell, for a day or a lifetime.' I guess I chose the 'lifetime' option. Sometimes, vandals will paint over the 'BOT' in Bothell, and that's always good for a laugh.

I live with my wonderful girlfriend Jessi (I know she'll be reading this, but she truly is the best), and we've settled down nicely together since she moved in for good about a year ago. The only problem is, I work days and she works nights, so I don't get to see her as much as I'd like, but that also gives me plenty of time to watch baseball, play disc golf and play on the computer in the evening.

I think I'll get back to work. My 10 minute break has quickly stretched into 30. I also need to mentally prepare myself for Kickball Playoffs tonight! As Dewey said in School Rock, Catch you later on the flip-flop.